Damn It, Rub My Head!

When I put my head on your lap, that means "rub"! I don't get it. This gestures seems obvious enough. I get right in your way, lay on you, lick your hands even (especially if they smell tasty...or salty...or at all). Rub! Don't push! When you say that "sit" thing, you expect me to do something. Well, I 'm not going to sit any more, so there. Well, I mean, less than I already have not been doing (is that even possible?) I mean I've had a hard night of sleeping on the carpet in your bedroom and a hard morning of sleeping on the carpet in the office. I need soothing. Rub! Or I'll go see what's in the garbage.